Battle of the bulge and other feline dietary quirks

Since Tommy's become an indoor cat, he's been fighting and losing a mighty battle.  The bulge is winning and Tommy's grown an impressive "beer belly".  There's an old saying, "He'll eat anything that doesn't bite back."  Whoever conjured up this saying obviously never met Tommy.  Tommy doesn't care if it bites.  He'll eat it anyway.

Folks claim cats are finicky.  If that's the case, Salem must be a goat.  I can't leave a piece of string, yarn or paper lying around the house or Salem will attempt to eat it.  I've even caught her chewing up books and gnawing on cardboard boxes. 

Some of my cats have eating disorders.  Their  biggest  eating disorder is Tommy.  If I don't watch him, he steals their food.

Three house cats are overweight and three are not.  Greed is definitely a feline fat factor.  Even if they've just eaten, the three fat cats, Salem, Tommy, and Miss B., want whatever the others cats have.  Sadly, I have to protect the other three or they'd probably starve.

 Tommy is a compulsive eater.  Salem does her best to give Tommy a run for his money in the eating department.  But when she runs, she jiggles.  Her  jiggling is cute.  Tommy's "beer belly" really isn't.  Miss B. makes more room for stealing food by gorging and purging, also not cute.

Svelte little Angie seems to exist on air and a few treats now and then.  Offer her wet food and most of the time she'll bolt in horror.  Offer her a houseplant or pen and that's another story.

Frodo has trimmed down since Tommy moved in.  This is because Tommy monopolizes the dry food dispensers.  Although these dispensers are in different rooms, he manages to be at all of them simultaneously.  This could be why poor Frodo is so ravenous every morning.

Leo is the champion of finicky cats.  He must be spoon fed the same thing every morning, a certain brand of salmon.  Try and slip him something different and he'll throw a fit.  The spoon feeding is a morning thing I wish would last all day.  The rest of the day, he insists on being hand fed.  Whenever he feels peckish, he will torment me and keep leading me to the pantry.  If I don't catch on, he will begin slapping Tommy around.  This I understand.  It means, "Feed me, or I'll kill the fat boy."  Once I catch on, the battle still isn't over because then I must guess exactly what kind of food he wants.  If I don't select the right item, he will throw another snit and refuse it.  This means the fat cats will get another feeding they don't need and before long, Leo will be pestering me for another snack.  Hand feeding wet food is not my idea of fun but he seems to enjoy it and he's the boss.  Occasionally a rude person will make a comment about Leo being spoiled.  He's not spoiled.  I'm well trained.

As for the outdoor cats, some prefer dry food and some prefer wet.  One cat would eat chicken every day if given the chance.  Others won't touch it.  Ginger doesn't care for chicken but she does like frog legs.  Serving frog legs is where I draw the line, so she catches and prepares them herself.