The Gambler?

Maybe a sixteen- plus pounder doesn't seem so tough.  But note the fangs, claws, formidable appetite and cranky disposition before you write him off.

It wasn't an earthquake that shook the kitchen table.  It was Tommy jumping onto it.  He probably did this because he was feeling sociable, curious, or most likely, hungry.    

After jumping up, Tommy paused for a moment to scout the vicinity for edibles.  To his dismay, all that was available was a laptop and my solitaire game.  After sulking for a minute, Tommy took his disappointment in stride.  First he strode over to the laptop and nudged it closed.  Having put that evil device out of commission, Tommy turned his attention to me.

He then wandered over to the card game in progress and examined it.  It appeared to be safe so he sat on the cards.  I scratched his chin and then tried to remove him from the cards.  He refused to budge.  I tried to play the cards around the large striped obstacle but he kept slapping my hands.  A struggle ensued.  He flopped down across the cards and started rolling.  Cards flew everywhere.  He tried chewing the corner of the ace of spades.  I took the ace away from him and he snatched the three of diamonds.  This scuffle continued for about ten minutes.

I know when to quit.  Tommy won the game but if the truth be told, he doesn't play fair.  He's marked the deck.  There's a corner torn off the ace of spades and an assortment of bends and teeth marks in other cards.

Although Tommy won the card game by cheating, at least I learned the answer to a riddle. 
 How do you stop a cranky fat cat from rolling on your cards?
You don't.