Morning madness

My cats are so sweet when they are sleeping.  Actually, they're sweet most of the day.  The exception is mornings.  Morning really brings out the animal in them.

As soon as the sun begins to rise and my feet hit the floor, I am plunged into feline purgatory.  The six house cats swarm me.  The outside cats begin storming the windows.  Even if I've only slept a few hours, they think I've been away for a week.

I can understand the outdoor cats' frenzy.  They are probably genuinely hungry.  Food can't be left out at night because it attracts other critters, like skunks, racoons and oppossums.   

But I haven't a clue why the indoor cats turn into morning lunatics.   They always have access to dry food, water, and bathroom facilities.  This doesn't matter.  They think they've been deprived.  Every morning, I fight my way through them the midst of them, tripping over them as they howl at me.

They all have different agendas.  One or two usually want to go out on the porch.  Tommy must have some kind of tapeworm because he's constantly hungry.  While he's underfoot howling for a snack, Frodo's bouncing from one counter to the other and chirping.  I can't move fast enough for either cat so Frodo starts tossing things off the counter, like my watch and a few pens.  While Frodo is cleaning off the counter, Angie's in another room howling for treats because that's all she usually eats.  If there was a chandelier in the kitchen, Salem would be swinging from it.  I can't see Miss B., but I can hear her hacking a hair ball up somewhere in the house.  Tommy rubs up against my leg which infuriates Leo, because I am Leo's human.  So Leo begins to beat up Tommy.  As I go after the boys to break up the fight, I hear my watch hit the floor again.  I get the boys separated and step on Miss B's hairball on my way back to pick up my watch.  While saying very bad words, I clean Ms. B.'s mess and put my watch back on the counter, only to turn and trip over Tommy.  I hear the watch hit the floor again.  Then Leo goes after Tommy.  By now, I feel like clobbering Tommy so I let Leo rip.  Angie continues to howl at the top of her amazing lungs and I can hear the outside girls clawing at the screens.

I manage to get several food dishes lined up on the counter and open a can.  Pushing Frodo's head out of the can, I take the lid away from Salem.  The boys keep battling behind me and smacking into the back of my legs.  Angie is still howling and Miss B. is hacking again.  As soon as I get food into a dish, Frodo dives into it, right on the counter.  This is the only time and place Frodo will usually eat canned food, so I let her.  Next I put Tommy's dish on the floor.  Although he will eat may times a day in any place, thankfully, he is out of my way for a few minutes.  I put more dishes around where ever I find Salem and Ms. B.  I even offer Angie a little spoonful, just in case. 

Now that five of them are busy, I can finally give Leo his asthma inhaler and then his breakfast.  He prefers salmon for breakfast and insists on being spoon fed.  While I am feeding Leo, Tommy begins sneaking around, trying to steal food from the girls.  He usually doesn't get past my guard.

Within ten minutes, the indoor cats' morning madness is over.  They will be docile as pussycats for the rest of the day. 

I rush to the front porch to feed the outside cats.  They pick at the dry stuff for a few minutes and then go to the back door to mooch for the good stuff.  They know if they are really persistent, I will get tired of the mooching and give them a can.  These girls are gourmets.  They refuse to eat bargain brands.

At least once the morning feeding frenzy, the morning clean up doesn't seem so bad.