Friends or familiars?

Sometimes people insinuate that these cats are my familiars.  Familiars?  That seems a bit harsh.   

But whether or not these cats are familiars, they think they are and that's all that matters.  Since I am out numbered, I have no say in the matter.  Indoors or out, I can always count on feline help... whether I want it or not.  Their whiskered little noses are in everything. 

The house cats are a talented group.  No task is too menial for these felines.  If I garden, they are more than happy to dig up the plants and pee in pots.  If I paint, at least a couple are guaranteed to race through the wet paint.  There are also several feline seamstresses.  One specializes in stealing spools of thread.  Another is so talented, she can jam a sewing machine by staring balefully at it.  If I ask her to stop, (nicely, of course), she will cease glaring at the machine and it will magically begin to work again.  The whole group excels at laundry tasks and are quite willing to jump in baskets of clean clothes.  Then there are the carpenters.  Although their handiwork looks more like the work of carpenter ants, they mean well.  And speaking of bugs, all the cats work hard to keep their home bug free.  Three cats are computer specialists, taking turns jumping on the keyboard as I type.  The cats also have culinary interests.  One has to be bribed before I am allowed to cook.  Another has been known to spring up into my plate on occasion. 

The outside cats work just as hard by digging holes all over the lawn, catching moths on the porch, clawing at the screens, mooching at all doors and rewarding me with mouse heads.

The indoor and outdoor cats all make excellent watchdogs and let me know if anything is amiss.

Familiars, friends, domestic help, or pains in the rump?  It doesn't really matter.  The pay rate is the same for all the job descriptions.