Zombie Tomcats.....

Somebody left the gates of hell open and they're streaming out.  With vacant eyes and blood spattered tattered fur, they roam the yard seeking victims.  All hours of the day and night, their shrieks and howls pierce the air.  Zombie tomcats.  Too ugly to get willing dates, they pester each other and anything else that moves as they spray the air with their foul scent.  The ground is littered with clumps of fur yanked from opponents.

There hasn't been a lady cat in heat around here for several years.  But that doesn't stop the zombie tomcats.  No ladies, no problem.  They tear each other to pieces.  They battle all over the yard.  They battle on the porch and on the deck.  Twenty times in a a twenty four hour period, I have to go out and scare the beasts away.  But they just keep coming back.

It would be nice to keep them off the porch.  Their vile perfume does nothing for the curb appeal of the place.  A well aimed bucket of water chases them away, but not for long.  The Zombie Toms are not even repelled by strategically placed garlic cloves.  If I knew what the hell wolf bane was, I'd try that.  But until I figure out what wolf bane is, I'll have to find another way to battle the Zombie Toms.