Mother in law's tongue

It's poison.  It's lethal.  And it never stops flapping in its search for vulnerable targets to wound.  For over a quarter of a century, this past- its- expiration- date specimen has been shooting deadly barbs in my direction.  No topic is off limits in its crusade to inflict harm.  Not children.  Not pets.  Especially not pets.

Unlike this poisonous specimen, animals are not idiots.  They instinctively don't like or trust this venomous creature.  And that is enough for me.  If an animal dislikes or fears somebody, alarm bells go off in my head.  In this particular case, the animals' dislike of this razor tongued weed just reinforces my own.

I consider the cats that live in my house family members.  It is very annoying when a noxious weed invades our home and begins belittling family members, even furry ones.  During her last onslaught, the deadly specimen parked its self at my kitchen table and took root.  Since the unwelcome uninvited guest overstayed and overstayed, I had to attend to some domestic chores.  While other family members were cornered at the table by the dragon lady with the serpent's tongue, I passed through the room calling a cat.  As I went by, what I heard coming from the deadly mother-in-law's tongue rocked my world.

"OH, FOR GOD'S SAKE!  SHE ACTUALLY NAMED THE DAMN THINGS?"

What kind of an ignorant entity is this?  Over the years, the mother-in-law's tongue has hosted a couple specimens of her own.  With names.  Of course, her specimens were trendy canines, little yappy dogs with runny eyes and registration papers.  Does this mean only pedigreed yappy dogs deserve names?  Dog people.  Go figure.  Mother-in-laws tongue, may you get root rot.