Brushing Kitty's Teeth

Since I've become a feline servant, I've had to do some pretty weird things.  In the process, I've discovered that even a tame cat is not fun to doctor.  Chasing a semi-tame outdoor cat and trying to put antibiotic ointment in his eyes is even worse.  Once the cat knows what's going to happen when he's caught, things get even more difficult. 

Trying to force liquid antibiotics into any cat's mouth is not a job for sissies.  The cats tend to get mad and resist quite forcefully.  I've purchased tuna flavored antibiotics.  The tuna flavoring doesn't help.  The smell is enough to knock you over while measuring the dose.  The first time you administer the fishy smelling medicine, the cat is confused and doesn't struggle so hard.  But once he's gotten a taste of the stuff, it's all over.  Administering the next dose is a major battle.  Apparently, the stuff does not taste like tuna and the cats hate it..

The vets at Golddigger's Animal Hospital hate me and are always conjuring up new and innovative ways to get me killed.  One time, during a cat's exam, the vet began peering intently at the cat's teeth and gingerly tapped his eyetooth.

Then she said, "There's a little bit of tartar there.  Don't you ever brush their teeth?"
Stunned, I replied, "Are you out of your mind?  I'm not suicidal!"
We both laughed and that was the end of it.  Or so I thought.

But thinking is a dangerous thing.  As I kept thinking, my thoughts became more dangerous.  Before long, I had convinced myself that I was a monster for depriving my lethally fanged and razor clawed kitties of white smiles.  Next time I was at the pet store, I looked around and sure enough, they really sold cat tooth brushes and tooth paste.  I bought the feline tooth brushing supplies, brought them home and set them on a counter.  For the next week I glanced at those supplies and shuddered as I passed by.

After another week, on a day when I was bored, I decided to give feline tooth brushing a shot.  Since I wasn't fond of the ground beef look, I decided not to mess with Tommy.  Instead, like a laser, I honed in on the other five indoor cats.  Leo was my first victim.  Leo allowed me to give him his asthma inhaler every morning.  How much worse could brushing his teeth be? 

Much worse.  Cornering him, I opened his mouth and touched his eyetooth with the tooth brush.  That was more than enough for him.  The look he gave me as he bolted said it all.  "What the hell is wrong with you, lady!" 

It went worse with the others.  The fact that I was giggling madly probably didn't help.  Even though the tooth brushing was not successful, something good did come from the experience.  My dear sweet kitty cats avoided me like the plague for the rest of the day.  So next time they're ganging up on me and being pests, I know just what to do.  Grab a tooth brush and start giggling.  The rest of the day should be nice and peaceful.