Tail talk

Body language gives a lot of insight into a being's state of mind.  If I had a tail, it would be angrily waving back and forth right about now.  Every time I think I'm getting the hang of this blogging sport, the computer shows me who the boss is.  Unfortunately, it isn't me. 


Kali Twelve-Cats, I tried to answer you.  My computer won't let me.  I'll have to find a toddler that can teach me how to work the stupid thing.  But thanks for reminding me about an important part of the feline language.  Tail talk.  Feline tails do speak volumes.  My favorite tail "phrases" are the "fluff" and the "question mark" tail.  My least favorite is the "you are so annoying that I'm getting ready to scratch the crap out of you" wave. 

The fluff is supposed to make the cat look bigger and more intimidating.  Hopefully, if a strange cat approached me hackled up with its tail fluffed, I would be wise enough to be wary.  Unfortunately, when my house cats do it, it just looks cute.  But the adorable tail fluffing actually an important clue to the tail fluffer's state of mind.  A fluffed up cat is not a happy cat.  My indoor creatures tend to fluff when they hear scary noises or encounter one of their feline house mates in a bad mood.

When I come home, sometimes a cat comes to greet me with his tail straight up in the air and the end curled to the side like a question mark.  This tail talk feels friendly.  I figure the cat is either glad to see me or is contemplating snatching an interesting object out of my hands.

When they're mildly annoyed, some cats tap their tails impatiently up against something, the way a human would tap her foot or drum on a table with their fingers.

Not only does the feline tail aid in communication, the tail also multitasks as an entertainment aid.  Leo likes to sit on the back of the couch behind my head and repeatedly tap his tail against my head.  Since he does this often, I assume this amuses him. 

Also entertaining are the tail chasers.  Angie is so much more than just a pretty face and a wonderful vocalist.  She has mastered the fine art of tail chasing.  Her own.  No matter how many times she catches her naughty tail and reprimands it, the thing will just keep sneaking up on her.  I used to think this was hilarious.  Now I wonder if she's not a little OCD.  She's started over grooming herself to the point she's removing patches of fur.  I took her to the vet and the vet seemed to think Angie's obsessive cleanliness was caused by stress.  Before she becomes a Siamese Hairless, I probably should try a different vet.

Tommy, the money cat was the other extreme tail chaser.  Tommy is a such big boy.  To spot a cat that size chasing his tail in circles on the lawn was a magnificent sight to behold.  Then I found him with his tail severely mangled.  When the vet said Tommy's tail had to be amputated, the image of Tommy's tail chasing popped into my mind.  The memory caused me to start blubbering like a fool.  The vet warned that because Tommy's tail had to be cut so short, there was a risk that the nerves running into his spine would be damaged.  This would have left him unable to control his bowels.  Fortunately this didn't happen.  For a while after the surgery, Tommy had trouble judging distances in the litter box.  His creations often landed in front of the litter box, instead of in it.  But he's finally mastered the art of tidy litter boxing.  And now instead of chasing his tail, he eats compulsively.  He also has acquired the endearing habit of attacking my husband in the morning when he tries to put his shoes on.  For some strange reason, my husband doesn't like this. 

Cats aren't the only ones entertained by their tails.  There have been a few times I've been bored enough to try counting the rings on some of my cats' tails.  Although they are troubled by this peculiar human behavior and squirm around, this practice has been informative.  Salem, Miss Potty Mouth, is the champion ring tail with a whopping nine distinct rings around her tail.  It's possible that Ginger might be serious competition in the ring department.  If I ever get bored enough to check the rings on the tails of the outdoor ferals, I'll let you know the results....as soon as I finish tending my wounds.