Pissing in the posies

When it comes to gardening, people disagree about the proper planting times, soil conditions, types of fertilizers and plant placement.

Cats have a more refined and civilized attitude towards gardening.  Feline gardening philosophy can be broken down into two major schools of thought, although neither group of feline farmers is appreciated by humans.

If I had a choice and could select one of the two feline gardening techniques, I'd go with the Angie.  Angie is a very laid back gardener.  She believes a  pot of posies is the ultimate sweet smelling bed to curl up in.  Although the plants are slightly chewed up and somewhat flattened when she is through, they remain sweet smelling.

Salem, Ginger, Peggy and Ms. B, are a human gardeners nightmare.  Sweet smelling does not apply to their techniques.

 Salem insists that all freshly tilled soil must be augmented with her own version of organic fertilizer.  She also believes that any potting soil can be vastly  improved by her amendments.  Although I don't particularly care for Salem's fertilization methods, she doesn't care that I don't care for it.  And I don't care that she doesn't care.  I've done everything from placing sharp sticks in the soil, to topping the soil with big rocks, to jailing the plants in screen cages.  It doesn't matter.  Sooner or later Salem will find a way to fertilize my plants.  What ever Salem does, Miss B. will be supportive by adding her own contributions.

Peg and Ginger insist on over "watering" all plants.  Instead of lugging heavy watering cans around, they have built in sprinkler systems and they know how to use them.  The last couple of years I've given up gardening on the ground.  To thwart the feline gardeners, I tried gardening in pots on the deck.  Apparently, Peg and Ginger had the same idea.  Every time I looked out the window, one or the other was squatting in a pot.  Last year, I tried several different types of barricades to keep them off the deck and away from the plants.  Nothing worked.  The pair of piss pots is unstoppable.

What vegetation Peg and Ginger don't water, roving tomcats do.   

Unless I can devise a method to keep these evil creatures away, I probably won't even bother planting this year.  And I doubt I'll be stopping to smell the roses any time soon.